A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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