I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
