Christians are straight up FREAKS
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
