hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
