so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
