I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
His nipple licking is glorious
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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