Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
