After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
