My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
