I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
