you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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