And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
