We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
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