There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
