We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
