Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
