do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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