zippers are such a cool invention
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
