I wish I could teleport
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize