A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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