You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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