I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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