So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
