For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
