So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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