dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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