me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
