It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
