Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
