her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize