I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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