Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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