Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
