after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Fuck me I smell like cheese
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
