My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
