I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
