felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
