i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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