I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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