i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
