i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
