Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
COCAINE IS GR8
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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