You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
