The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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