Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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