If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
