as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
