I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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