Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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