is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
