This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
