Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize