what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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