i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
