just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
