i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize