Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
