some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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