I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
