Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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