It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
