I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
