dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
