now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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