My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
