She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
