i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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