just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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