I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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