I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
