just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize