Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
