So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Randomize