Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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