JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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