Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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