just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
